Hi! Silly me forgot to post this article here to my blog when I first sent this out as a newsletter 2 weeks ago! Yeah life has been pretty hectic with new trainings in Melbourne and I’ve got some pretty cool stuff happening behind the scenes…but hey, better late than never! So here goes…
A lot of you have been asking for tips for staying focussed and finishing things and so this post tackles procrastination.
If you’ve already read my e-book on the ‘6 Core Desires’ (just download your copy here from my website) then you’ve touched on this. In short, our 6 core needs drive all of our decisions and we even over ride our values to meet our needs. The first 2; the need for certainty (comfort, security, control) and the need for uncertainty (variety, challenge) are playing out with procrastination. If your ability to meet your needs for certainty and uncertainty is unbalanced, you’ll go and sabotage.
This plays out when you are, for example, starting a new business, or you take your business to a new level. Suddenly you experience a lot of uncertainty (even more so if we have other areas in our life in flux too…I had this massively when I left corporate, started my biz, got married to a man who was also starting a new biz and became a step mum, all in the space of 5 months…let’s just say that my coach had to throw me the ladder into my pity party more than once)…so if you have too much uncertainty in your life, you will go and sabotage by procrastinating in doing things that are familiar (certainty)…such as housework, admin or answering emails instead of tackling your income creating activities first. Because they are all easy ways to meet your need for certainty. For example; have you ever taken hours to clean your office and desk when you’re meant to be starting a new project?
So if you’re feeling overwhelmed and even anxious, it means that you have too much uncertainty and hence you delay making decisions and doing things. The way round this is that you need resourceful weekly rituals in your life that meet your need for certainty. Rituals such as exercise, yoga, mediation, mum’s groups, cooking, time with loved ones, gardening…and when you do this regularly, minimum 3 times a week, your cup will be filled for certainty and you can go back into the battle again and push through those times of uncertainty. That’s why these types of rituals are so so key.
Sabotage also plays out if you’ve got too much certainty. If you’re basically bored sh*tless and live a life of ‘quiet desperation’ by the words of Emerson. So if you’ve been standing still and not doing much with your life for a while…you would by now have created low quality ways to add some variety and challenge to your life…cue; un-resourceful drama! Doing victim and martyr, arguments, addictions etc. All things that distract your focus and stop you being able to finish things
You know (and I totally wasn’t here 18 months ago, but am pretty proud to say that I’m now most of the time)….and that is that I’ve learnt to dig uncertainty; the mystery and unknown in life. It really is true, that if you want to be successful in life, you need to become friends with uncertainty, because that’s where growth and progress happens.
Certainty is what you already know.
Let me ask you: How exciting is a life of certainty? For all those amazing people in life that you look up to and get inspired by (for me – Sir Richard Branson, Nelson Mandela, Marie Forleo to name a few) do they talk about the times when everything was just as it had been for years, when they knew exactly what tomorrow was going to be like…or is about the moments of trial and triumph, the highs and the lows and the dark tunnels and the moments of achievement, celebration and joy?
Exactly. It’s about overcoming challenges and who you become in the process. This is key to remember in doing anything new and unfamiliar.
To decide if the ‘new thing’ is the right thing for me, I love to use what I call the ‘Branson questions’;
1) What ‘s the worst case scenario?
2) If the worst case scenario was to present itself, could I handle it?
If the answer is yes to both, then rock on and do it!!
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